One of the very first rock performances I ever got to see live as a youth was via Pay-Per-View. Mom’s friend bought her son & I the “Guns N’ Roses Invades Paris” show to watch. They “went off & played,” and I was juuuuuust fine with it. In the early 90’s, I’d heard Metallica was going to eventually tour with them (and they did, one year later). What I didn’t know was that Soundgarden was going to be opening to concert.

Back then (1992), they hadn’t released Superunknown yet. Yet still, Chris Cornell was all f**king over the rock air waves, by way of his voice alone. Back then, he wasn’t even really playing that much guitar in the band, compared to what he eventually would throughout. His presence & influence came by way of that powerful, unique, far-ranging & multi-faceted voice of his. The more the world heard him, it seemed that the performers within the rock world wanted to mimic him, somehow. His influence, at first, grabbed everyone’s attention by simple way of the sound of his voice.

Chris was a musician whose voice influenced me from an early age. I first heard him via Los Angeles’ ‘Pirate Radio’ station, just before the ’90’s “Alternative” Rock’ era. When Soundgarden opened for Guns & Roses at a Pay-Per-View show in Paris, I was 11 years old… and that was my first time seeing Chris on-stage. Though I’d heard two of their songs before that night, Soundgarden’s set was superior. Though they only had two singles from their LP ‘Badmotorfinger,’ their foremost LP at that time (no Superunknown yet)… I still loved them. His voice, their percussion, their strings. It all worked so well. By the time they released Superunknown, the world was floored by this man’s voice. I loved seeing & listening to it happen. It was an inspiring, successful uprising to behold, be part of as a fan & enjoy the work of.

Dazed Out in a Garden Bed With a Broken Neck

From Soundgarden to Audioslave, back to his own solo work, Chris was as unique via his trials as they came. No matter the rock variety, his voice found the tempo & pitch effortlessly, time and time again. To see it live at such a young age was absolutely standard-setting. For more than a decade after the first time I saw him on-stage… I listened to his voice, waiting for him & his group to come around again. And when Soundgarden disbanded, it wasn’t long before Rage Against The Machine‘s musicians found Chris wandering aimlessly. They brought him onboard to go on road trips & play gigs, while recording & releasing music. At one point, Cornell had successfully cataloged his own body of work… while putting together an empirical legacy alongside musician after musician, as a member of their groups. Thanks to Audioslave, I saw Chris live, in-person, for my first & only time.

The day I heard about his passing, I was at work. He was found dead in his hotel room after performing the night of May 18th, 2013. A Thursday. I heard about it the next f**king morning. Hell of a way to start the day, eh?! It was supposed to be the start of my weekend. I’d spend it listening to news about Chris Cornell’s funeral plans. And though I wanted to show up pay respects personally, it was a private ceremony. Invite-only exclusivity. C**ksuckers.

The drive to “visit” Chris was a somber one, guided by the soundtrack of his songs and words. My other-half at the time & I journeyed from Vegas, back to Hollywood in California, to visit the graveyard. By this time in life, I’d seen both parents, a sibling & several others “pass away,” or come close. Yet, watching the most influentially talented vocalist I’d seen in my lifetime so tragically outright commit suicide was mind blowing…… unlike any other death “in rock,” or even “in my lifetime.” His voice wasn’t one you simply found another to replace it with. His efforts were subconsciously timeless, even then, and in my opinion they stand to this day. No other male vocalist since, in any genre, has given us the same type of raw truth. None have offered their own uncensored emotion through their sheer talent, least of all with such commanding & thought-provoking vocals. Who can say if there’s ever even been anyone as honestly heartfelt in his musical words, sounding as genuinely gifted?

Nothing Will Do Me In Before I Do Myself

Life Ain’t Nothing If It Ain’t Hard… It’ll Show You Who You Truly Are

Almost all of my family is dead. Saying “good-bye” to Chris was one of the most hurtful “good-bye’s” I’ve ever said. Before getting to meet or even thank him… without so much as a chance to talk with him for a minute or two, was gone. Yet another catalyst example of lessons I’ve been taught, then retaught, since childhood… enjoy those you have while you have them, as much as you can, for as long as you can. They aren’t going to be there forever. No one alive ever is.

Our collective time here “in this,” as we are, is limited. Enjoy as much as you can. A rough Monday on minimal sleep is better than a captive dungeon, with no chance of escape. The loss of someone you admire or love, or both, before their time, devastating. Cornell’s passing was more tragic in ways than the passing of my own parents, more blindsiding. No one saw it coming. Everyone was there to pay homage in this horrendous tragedy’s aftermath, in some way.


“That’s the miracle of music. No one can interpret a Picasso, but a song can be remixed and covered and interpreted in an infinite number of ways. It’s a living thing.”

~Chris Cornell