2011 thru 2013 was a non-stop adventure, in every worst-possible way. One “health condition” advanced to something WAY more serious in that time (… revealing another), and I again found myself alone. Either way, full-blown diagnosis was now on the docket. David Hojak was being taken seriously by healthcare professionals, for the first proper time in a decade.
Two decades later, they’d FINALLY “control his condition” for the first time ever.
Mind you, in that time, David Hojak got to experience…
֍ The totality/outright wreckage of three vehicles, all with David Hojak driving. Death was highly probable each time.
֍ During his Vegas run, an “ex” abandoned him after a health incident cost him “Vegas Job #1”.
֍ In-the-end “lessons” about how far loyalty & friendship REALLY go.
֍ Losing touch with, love for & sympathy endearing every living family member that turned their backs on him. Multiple did.
֍ Relocations to state, after state, after state, after state… often via the “charity funds” provided by someone dearly beloved.
֍ Failed friendship after failed friendship, via David Hojak’s health crises being “inconvenient” to them.
֍ Favors & “laboring” due to “friends” that, for him, they never would have beckoned the call of.
֍ Shockingly surprise instances of “sudden homelessness” that always reminded me of just how alone we all truly can be.
֍ Some family “kicked me out” of their house while I was hospitalized… after the accident in THEIR home that PUT ME THERE.
֍ One, a potential “fטטk turned lover,” saw me “malfunction” in her home… and falsified claims to have police remove me.
֍ Two different years-apart & witnessed instances of heart stoppage… resulting in a cardiovascularly surgical procedure.
In Clusters of the Mice, The Smoke is in Our Eyes
Regardless of interactions, inconveniences or instances throughout time, a clear-cut path had been somewhat “dictated” to me by happenstance alone. From the very onset of my condition (which resulted in several job losses), I was ultimately alone at-home. The woman I’d aligned myself with initially couldn’t be trusted any further than I can throw her. Once she “vanished,” a “repair-me” relationship of sorts took up my time for about 1000 days. At the end of that “pit stop” relationship, a local relocation had me attracting new friends ever-so suddenly.
… and it didn’t take long to find a friend who’d help me to TRULY move on. Having stayed in touch with a high-school friend since then, I was introduced to #3. Her & I hit it off almost instantly… having been begrudgingly introduced to each other by a friend of ours that wanted her for himself. Regardless, we wanted each other. With our only inconvenience being that he “knew her first,” her & I set forth together.
During our near-half-decade together, she tended to & nurtured me in every which way she knew how to. Whether only shortly-after, for days-after, or for weeks-after, she was the only one who’d stayed by my side. In the time we spent together, she decided she’d be at my side no matter how difficult it’d get personally… and she was always there. She still is to this day, should I ever need a friend.
Once our “time together” concluded, I committed only to myself… and I left California, in doing so. During a cross-country relocation, heartbreak & hopefulness created a puree-blended psychological clusterfטטk for me to “sip” throughout my trip. My goals were happiness, honesty and GENUINE love with another… and in a first for me, I was leaving the state to achieve it.
#MISTAKE
Like Babies on Display, Like Angels in a Cage
By the time Mrs. Hojak & I reunited, I’d relocated seven fטטking times throughout the country, plus once internationally. Literally, all I’d been doing the whole time was trying to safely stay alive… maybe even while acquiring a work opportunity. I’d known her since I was 13… and here I’d be, three decades later, calling her “mine.”
While I was in the northeast, she visited a state that was four hours away from me… and happily made the trip to visit, beyond considering torrential snow and frigid cold. We talked for hours. After this, it’d be YEARS before I got to talk to, or even see, her again.
Once in back in Southern California, I reached out to her shortly after my return. By the time I’d made that call, I’d already taken a face-first spill off a top-bunk bed in my sleep… requiring stitches in my face.
Once she heard about that, she was there to claim me for herself within 48 hours of our call.
Now together, both of our lives are happier, easier and more FUN. Being at her side improves my own perspective on so many things unexpectedly. The happiness I feel when with her can, at times, feel like it’s been absent for a lifetime. Only those that understand you most thoroughly are going to satisfy your “expressions.” In my case, this woman has gone leagues beyond encouraging every last spoken urge… and in advance at times.
Success is most beneficial when it’s a mutual undertaking. No one on a Football team is assigned the “Sideline Spectator” position. The game of life is the same, minus the funny-looking “ball.” As long as you’re sitting, staring & watching, you’re going nowhere. If this is where you feel you are now, change course. Redirect.
I Must Be Pure and True… I Must Contain My Views
Marriage to a woman I’ve known since my first teenage year sounds scripted. Believe this much: NOTHING in life “is.” Our unity came by way of timing, patience, trust, heart, loyalty & love. Our relationship slowly established itself over several decades… with me having met her within months of the loss of my most influential parent. As young as I was, this was a woman who’d be capable of outright playing “kickball” with my emotions.
“No staring at the clouds…… I must stay on the ground.”
~ Chris Cornell
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