Not long ago, a longtime friend helped David Hojak out with transitional housing as he sought out new housing. He wanted to be even closer to home (the west coast of the United States), after his divorce. Back then, he’d relocated to Michigan, then to Nevada, then back to California. Once he’d moved everything he owned out of California to Nevada, he had all his belongings (personal & hand-me-downs) ransacked. As a result, he was left with a suitcase & a train ticket. Moving was a matter of destination & sadness.
Shortly after a “roommate stay” ended, David Hojak once again left the United States’ west coast… and lessons learned quickly followed. It all caught up with me at once. I was tired of the psychology that had inundated & stunted my home state’s population over the years. Also, the absurd cost that came with living in a toxic cesspool offering an ocean view was outlandish.
Man, was my relocation’s timing then better than I’d thought it would be… if even only for the sake of an adventure.
Having not seen my friend for years at length, I figured not much had changed since my teens. I was right about that…… in just about every wrong way possible. It was absolutely heartbreaking & deflating to see the aftermath of what he’d done to himself, in motion… and the wreckage he’d treated his own body as. I’d never imagined that I’d see him this obliviously unhealthy. As I aged while younger, I’d spent some years looking up to him as an “elder” graduate of sorts. Here & now, I was looking down upon him, and the way he’d handled his life. To have outgrown someone so much older than me was eye-opening, to put it mildly.
Upon arrival in Texas, it was clear to me that drinking would be my only inexpensive “sleep-aide.” when compared to the much-more-sparsely-distributed Marijuana in those parts. Alongside my buddy, he made sure to find something for Hojak to consume alcoholically every day, for a year straight…… along with a reason to do it, and someone to do it with.
Don’t get me wrong…… I love the guy like a brother. He’s been a friend to me since I lost a parent at my own young age. Maybe he hasn’t always been the best influence, but he’s always been there for me. Even when I’ve needed him the most, whether inconvenient or not, he was there…… and he absolutely was this time. Throughout my entire time staying there, nothing appeared to trouble anyone. It all seemed fine. It all appeared as though I’d traveled as normally as any other time…. until the end.
Around then, some weirdo who had a sudden idea for a business plan hit me up. He wanted a website, based on his brain-dead business idea. I was no one to argue… by all means, he was in it to pay me for Website Development. I took a train, destined for work in Mexico. I figured it’d take months to attentively finish. When he suddenly, one night, had a panic attack & realized his idea sucked, I innocently asked about it. His silence & sudden confusion ever-so-clearly indicated something to me, right then: his panic attacks were motivation. This guy, remarkably, had no clue about what he was doing. He was relying upon me to devise a strategy he refused to discuss.
Suddenly & out of nowhere, he angrily asked me to leave by a quickly-upcoming weekend. I figured that as much would happen because of how aimlessly stupid he acted on a casual basis. This type of guy was used to everyone else doing his work for him… and I wasn’t going to be that guy. So, yet again, it was upward & onward.
This time, a dearly beloved friend helped me. Once past Rosarito & back in the country, she helped me with train fare from Oceanside to Los Angeles. She also picked me up from their train station, then drove me personally to where I’d be staying…… her treat. I never would’ve guessed where the only place she could afford for me over the next three months would be… I ended up in a halfway house, buried in East Los Angeles’s “friendliest” neighborhood. The only space they had there gave me a top bunk bed to sleep on. Within a month, I fell off of it, head-first… in my sleep.
Concussed and with a freshly-stitched eye, I figured, “why not?” and I called a woman I’ve known since I was thirteen years old. Honestly, I just wanted to see how she was doing.
She heard what David Hojak had experienced over the years & was disappointed, to say the least. She wanted to know where I was & when she could retrieve me, without me even asking. ASAP was the conclusion. Within two days of that discussion… I was rescued from the ghetto, saved from the storm, and brought back into society. I felt like I’d be functional again, if even a little bit worn health-wise.
Since then, the big picture’s taken extraordinary turns. To say I look at life just 20% like I did half a decade ago would be an over-exaggeration. In so little (yet, so much) time, so many things have changed. They’ve run their course, or just merely happened, which made them part of something. These days, everyone’s got their own reasons for obligating.
Often, I watch people waste their mortal time entertaining meaningless efforts, for such minuscule recognition or reward. The most rewarding recognizance of all is knowing you’ve made the most of your own life. It’s having positively touched the ones who mean the most to you as sensually as possible. It’s seeing as much of what you’ve dreamed of as you can. Achieve as many of your goals as you can find time for. Never accept or settle for a “lazy” approach to things.
Memories of good times comes & go. Pictures of them remind us forever. Take as many as you can with whatever camera you have. Get the best ones possible, because they make for the best memories. Never undervalue that. No one knows how long they’ll have their facilities fully about them, especially in this day & age. Being capable of looking back upon, and happily remember, those times as you age makes such a difference.
Be thoughtful, be caring, be respectful, be patient, be loving, be disciplined and be strong. Be honest and be loyal to those you love…… but most importantly, always be yourself. It’s the only way you’ll end up happy in the end.
“So bleed your heart out… there’s no more rides for free.”
~Chris Cornell
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